It Sounds Like A War Outside

I'm not a big fan of fireworks. They are costly, and don't do much for me.

But since yesterday was Independence Day I thought back about how I have spent my past Fourth of Julys.

For the last 2 years I went to my local bar's party and hung out with new people. But before that, I spent time with some veterans to see just how these super patriotic families celebrate.

I spent the 4th with Anita, Sonia, and Tom. Tom and Anita are Veterans. I would also add that both his son and daughter joined the military and have been sent to war, just like both Anita and Tom. I dated his daughter for awhile right before she was sent to Afganistan. His son, Mike, also joined the military and was sent to Iraq. When he was sent, he had two sons, a 2-yr-old and a 4-yr-old. In Iraq he had 3 of his fingers blown off, and part of his head. while the Army surgeons did a great job, everytime I think of Iraq, or Mike, I think of what this man gave up and the reasons he did.

We BBQed, and jumped on the trampoline. But about dark, I learned more about what it means to be a veteran. In Vietnam, Tom helped spray agent orange, and got sprayed himself. Because of his time in Vietnam, he has PTSD, and while we loved watching the Army Marching Band, and the fireworks on TV, at dusk I saw something different happen.

While his wife, Anita, and the 5 puppies went outside to sit and listen to the fireworks. But before we went outside I helped in the 4th of July ritual. We had to close all the windows and drapes, and make sure he was situated with plenty of pillows and blankets. Then he locked himself in the room with some headphones and an Ipod.

As we were sitting out on the porch alone, I learned that because of his PTSD, the 4th of July is a bad time for him. Fireworks sound like bombs and give him flashbacks to being in war. He has to listen to music and put the pillows over his head. Even the flashing lights can give him flashbacks, and when they come he can be disfunctional for a week.

It is strange to me that Americans would celebrate our Indepencence by reenacting war. We could be doing more like NPR, reading the Delcaration of Independence and Constitutuion, leanring more about our own form of government and the founders, but instead we put on a theatric imitation of war. We didn't become who we are because of war, be became America because of the ideas and committment of our founders. It wasn't death that made this country, it was life.

I think fireworks can be cool sometimes, like for new years eve, or other special occasions, but it seems counter-intuitive to celebrate the 4th how we do.