How My Faith Informs My Work

There are 7 UU principals that we as a faith tradition embrace. You can find them here.

They are important parts of my being that I take with me to work every day.

I am an AmeriCorps Volunteer In Service To America (VISTA). The VISTA mission is to build community and fight poverty. It was started in 1964 as the domestic equivalent to the Peace Corps. I am not paid, I receive a living stipend. I am not a citizen of Dubuque, I do not pay taxes. I am stationed as a soldier against poverty in Dubuque, Iowa because it is where I thought my skills and experience would benefit people the most.

I took this position because I am often thoughtful of our fourth principal, “a free and responsible search for meaning.” Sometimes I think I find it, like I currently do with this quote.

"The poor person does not exist as an inescapable fact of destiny. His or her existence is not politically neutral, and is not ethnically innocent. [It is not independent of geography.] The poor are a by-product of the system in which we live and for which we are responsible. They are marginalized by our social and cultural world. They are the oppressed, exploited proletariat, robbed of the fruit of their labor and despoiled of their humanity. Hence the poverty of the poor is not a call to generous relief action, but a demand that we go and build a different social order." Gustavo Gutierrez in, "The Power of the Poor in History"

I fight this war because of the first and second principles. Every person has inherent worth and dignity. The existence of poverty often ignores that fact. Our second principle is offended by poverty. Poverty is an injustice, inequity, and lacks compassion in human relations.

My position was created to “encourage and facilitate collaboration, and communication” between organizations with a goal of working to end poverty and create opportunity. Faithfulness demands me to use, and encourage other to use “the right of conscience and the use of the democratic process.”

My duty is systems change. It is a slow and often painful process for those in it. I cannot go about changing a system without first a reverence and “respect for the interdependent web of all existence.” But respect is not a call for inaction; it is my call to make the world a better place.

In this position, I swore to “support and defend the Constitution of the US against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without mental reservation or purpose of evasion; And that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter." My duty is to fight poverty. If it were not for my faith, I could not have made this oath. We share “the goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all,” and some days, that is all I need to get back to work.

A VERY ZOMBIE HOLIDAY (Instructional video)

Check out this video on YouTube. I know it isn't robot apocalypse but it is great holiday viewing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UqEhUm2B_8&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Sent from my iPhone

Things I Wish I Had Known Before I Started as a VISTA

There was an interesting thread going on the VISTA forum called “LGBT VISTA Members/Resources.” It was asking about resources or support for LGBTQI VISTA members and the thread was looking to connect with others to talk about particular challenges. While I don’t have a lot of answers, I too have lots of questions about resources and support.

I won’t go into what LBGTQI means, but what I am interested in narrating is my experience and my continued questions about how my identity and minority status has unique challenges. I’d like to pose some questions a clear support system through VISTA could address.

As part of settling in to a new place, we must become aware of different resources. We are told we should find out about our local papers, know who key players in the community are and find out about other organizations we will be working with. As an individual we need to find emotional support systems that are uniquely “us” so we have a good working experience.

As a VISTA who re-located to a place I had never been to before, I have been spending a lot of my time and brain-energy finding how to get my needs met. I found the Department of Human Services to help me get food, a church to practice my faith, and I have secure and safe housing. My physical needs and some of my spiritual needs are being met. But when I started here I quickly learned that wasn’t all I needed.

My thought is “I should have Googled ‘LGBTQI resources’ before I moved here.” I guess I should stop here and say, I identify as a lesbian. Where I came from people already knew me so I never prioritized it as a part of my identity that needs any maintenance. I also may have confused people at work because I was married to a male for nearly 7 years. While he was my best friend, my sexual orientation was the main reason we mutually decided to dissolve our marriage. Divorce is also a little taboo in our culture. I also am not “butch.” I have gone shopping with co-workers, talk about pedicures, tanning and shoes. Male and female co-workers don’t see the difference between me and anyone else of my gender on the outside so they assume we have another thing in common too, our sexual orientation. I can’t imagine the different experience that a more feminine male or a more masculine female would have. I know much will be assumed about them, and they will also have unique challenges.

Well, I turned to Google after I had already relocated. But sadly, there wasn’t anything current. Now I am stuck wondering who I can ask to see if there is something offline. Finding out who to ask about local off-line resources is another source of fear. My second day of work I added in a conversational way “where is the gay bar.” It was a test of the water to see what my boss’ reaction was. This was a man I met just a day ago, but had chatted with on the phone with. Either I was really good at making it just sound like a conversation, or he really doesn’t care, but he didn’t seem phased. Sadly, though, either he just doesn’t know where it is or he was right and there is no gay bar. How is the polite way to ask, without outing myself, “then where should I go to meet other lesbian women?”

It is the “what ifs” that drain me the most. What if I come out at work? I was not adapting well and I thought if I come out too early and my position doesn’t work out, will my sexuality be blamed for it? But there were other questions that come along too. What if I do meet someone? Can I introduce them to my co-workers? What if I feel I am unfairly treated because of my sexual orientation? Is my boss my ally in this situation? Is my state leader my ally? Would they be prepared if I did come to them with questions about LGBTQI related issues and concerns? Which co-workers are allys? Are my other AmeriCorps or VISTAs allies? Are there other AmeriCorps and VISTAs who are also LBTQI and who live near me that I could ask? I don’t think it would be appropriate if there were a list handed out at PSO with other LGBTQI folks in the state, but I would be good to know right away that I had an ally that could help me search them out.

If I come out, will I be accused of flirting with same-gendered people at the office when I am just being friendly? What if I am accused? There are a lot of stereotypes about LGBTQI people. One of the main ones I’ve experienced or observed is how if someone knows you don’t fit the normal rules, they think you will be willing to break all the rules. For example, women who know men are gay are likely to flirt with them at work because they don’t think there will be attraction and so sexual harassment won’t occur. The same thing goes with lesbians. Men who are friends who know you are a lesbian treat you like a fellow man sometimes. It may mean they feel it is okay to objectify women or play rough, even if you don’t actually agree with the behavior. Would this happen to me? It has before, even in personal friendships. Would my co-workers know sexual harassment when it was same-gendered or accuse me of it, unfairly?

If I come out, can I be proud? Some people I know have said “it is fine if people are gay, but I don’t want them to shove it in my face.” That sounds reasonable, but it is also very objective. If I put up a rainbow flag in my office, is that too much pride? If I wear a pin or a bracelet to a work meeting, is that too much pride? If I talk about vacation I spent with my same-sex partner, is that too much pride? Who gets to decide these things? Me? My boss? My co-workers? Who do I get support from when there is a disagreement?

And lets say I found a need in the community. We don’t have an active Pride group. As a VISTA, if I began organizing for Pride or a gay and lesbian meet-up, would I get in trouble at work? I work at a foundation and we have big donors and partners who wield a lot of financial power in the community. If I were found out by our donors to be organizing on behalf of LGBTQI people, even for a social club, would that tarnish the program I work for or the foundation as a whole? If something were to happen between me and a donor or program partner, who would be my ally and who would be my advocates?

At my service site, I work with some nice people who are all doing some great things. We are working together to address and end poverty in our area. They understand the hidden rules of the middle class. They understand structural oppression (I think) and are committed to ending oppression. But are they aware about my special needs? Or should I have told them before I started? How do you fit that into an interview?

Since I started, I’ve been highly aware and even sensitive to jokes and comments about sexual orientation. I am listening for the details. I want to meet people like me. When you are alone you start looking for clues everywhere so you can find a friend, or companion, and sometimes just an ally. It is like listening in the dark. You have to be hyper aware because it is about emotional survival.

But I wish I had answers to these questions before I had started.

The real problem is...

I don't know much for sure, but I know that structural violence is at play and I'm not sure what side of it I am on. Am I just building a better band-aide? Are we dressing the wound or addressing the wound? What has caused the wound?

As an office we have adopted a family for Christmas. I don't feel very useful in the endeavor. I make poverty wages. I can't help someone else with any of the things they'd like help with. I can't even provide what I need for myself.

Last year for Christmas, I got a can opener. The year before that, I got a blanket.

Why can't we ask "why are there people who need help" instead of "what do people need help with". I don't think is fair that people are willing to help a family of strangers, but there are people surrounding them that need help. Is it better to help a stranger than a friend? Or is it because we can't see that which is around us everyday. The invisible poor. The people who live paycheck to paycheck but blend in.

If we continue to pretend class doesn't exist, we will never be able to solve the problems. If you ignore the war, how can you win it?

War on the Poor, or Was it "War on Christmas"

I read this article today and it made me cry. I only read it because its Facebook tagline was "Holidays are time for traditions, and one of the biggest American traditions this time of year is arguing about religion." It's funny because it's true. And I liked the picture.

The article is called "War on Christmas Spreads to Lincoln Tunnel."

But finishing up the article, I came to the part that really fit what I actually thought about the whole story. I added my own emphasis for you.

"So let's recap: The American Atheists got weeks of free publicity. The Catholic League got to look tough. The media got their annual "War on Christmas" story.

So it's a religious war with no losers — except perhaps for the people who could have used the money that went into billboards. Under the Catholic one, at the exit to the Lincoln Tunnel, Fred Morrison panhandles.

He sleeps in Penn Station, but spends his days under the picture of the nativity scene, begging. What would he put on the billboard if he had a chance?

"I would say, 'To each his own — you figure it out yourself,'" he says. The billboards definitely aren't putting people in the mood to give. "People don't have the spirit like they used to have."

A lot of Catholics and atheists could probably agree on that message.

I appreciate that the author of this story could understand that sometimes in a "war" or especially a competitive media campaign, just playing together by the rules means both teams can win.

When I am organizing around issues, I play out the best case scenario. That doesn't mean that my target just agrees with what issue I am advocating for, and that we can agree on how to proceed. I think it is important to disagree to make a good story. You can educate when debating, as long as it is done respectfully. Both teams can show good faith. They each should describe their positions and the background of their position. A healthy debate is educational, but if there is no disagreement, there is no drama, and the stories are boring. Make good drama that has a resolution. I hate it when people won't play. I will give them the game plan. The game plan. It would be unfair to play against someone who doesn't know their is a game at all. I wish more opposing groups would team up for good drama and education.

Now I just have to figure out how to do this for a class war.

Robots are Bullies

We can't expect the robots to know what is lethal force, if they don't try it first, right?
This is a concerning article from a few months ago.

From http://www.engadget.com/2010/10/14/robots-learning-our-pain-threshold-by-punching-humans-and-seeing/

Robots learning our pain threshold by punching humans and seeing if they cry.

The first rule of robotics is that a robot should not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. But how does a robot know when its acts or omissions are causing nearby fleshies discomfort? The obvious way is to scan for the same signals of distress that we humans do -- facial, physical, and aural -- but another, more fun, way is to just hit people over and over again and ask them how much each blow hurt. That's what professor Borut Povse over in Slovenia is doing, in a research project he describes as "impact emulation," where six test subjects are punched by a robotic arm until they can't take it anymore. It's funny, yes, but it's also novel and a somewhat ingenious way to collect data and produce more intelligent machines. Of course, whether we actually want more intelligent machines is another matter altogether"

Reading this is like watching a horror movie and you want to yell "DON'T GO UPSTAIRS" but the character does anyway.

This is why I will want to retire in the woods of Minnesota. Far away from technology. Plus I read somewhere that zombies freeze in winter and can't move, even if they are living. Well, not living, but moving and undead. sounds smart to me.

Why I Love My Friends

I feel as if I've betrayed my class, in some ways. I can't say I love my job. It isn't easy. But I'm in it for a good reason. But as I've written in some of my past posts, I feel so foreign in this job. Working with businesses to change the world is like an oxymoron. I don't get excited by Bernie Sander's FANTASTIC filibuster. Yet, I want to be excited.
I think I need to settle down, listen to some good ol' protest music, and drink a beer. But for now 'll just post a snapshot of just WHY I love my friends so much.

Hunting for food, part 2

This is an update on my adventure in trying to get food assistance help in Iowa.
When I left off, I had gotten a phone call from the Department of Human Services (DHS) and they asked me for a bunch of information. They wanted to know who my landlord was, who my roommates were, who I worked for, and how much money I made. I got my AmeriCorps VISTA letter of service from the my.americorps.gov site, but there was not a letter that was easily accessible that showed my income. I was (and am) stuck in a catch 22.

I haven't been paid, which is why I needed immediate food assistance. I started in November. I had some savings, but it was all spent on moving expenses. I had to move 200 miles from Minnesota to my service site, then travel to pre-service orientation (PSO) and also have to put a deposit on my new apartment, then pay part of November's rent, and December's rent all without being paid once by AmeriCorps. DHS needed a pay stub, but I don't have a pay stub. They also wanted a copy of my Social Security Card. I would totally offer this to them, but I lost my card when I lost my entire wallet this summer. I can get a new social security card, but it cost $30. I don't have enough money for food, let alone another $30 for a replacement card.

My second hurdle is that the social security office in Dubuque is not easy to get to. The office is in the Northwest part of town. They are open 9am to 4pm, only on weekdays. I work 8am to 4pm weekdays. I would have to take time off of work to get a replacement card. while I am not an hourly employee, but many people are. If I took time to go get a replacement card, I would be losing money. Not to mention the hassle. To get a new social security card, I have to get a real copy of my birth certificate. I have a copy, but my birth certificate comes from Lawrence, Kansas. I don't know anyone in Kansas. To order a copy of it is going to cost upwards of $30 and take a week. I don't have the money. That is why I am trying to get some food assistance.

Now I have to wait until I get paid, even to be able to finish the application.




The third real issue I had with the woman at the Dubuque DHS is that I sent her an e-mail asking what other information she needed so I could finish the application. In the e-mail (I sent her the Tuesday of Thanksgiving week) I asked her about emergency services where I could get food. She didn't ever reply to it. She wasn't helpful at all. I found out later that there is a family in Dubuque that makes Thanksgiving dinner for people in the community who want to come share it. They do it every year and have been doing it for 20 years. But when I asked her


The earliest bus leaves at 6:45am. I have to be to work at 8am. This means I have to miss work to get help. My work site is sympathetic to my needs, they know how little I am paid, but if I were an hourly employee, this would be a punishment, not help.

Why haven't we fixed this yet? This is why you can't not be political. Why not make real welfare reform and make a system that moves people through it to success faster? Oh, it is because people "don't want to work" and are "lazy" or "welfare queens" or "deadbeats." It is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

My goals here, in this position is not to find my replacement, it is to make the job self-funding because of its value. The person after me should be so valuable they are well-paid. The job should be open to the program graduates from which AmeriCorps helps, but teach them they are worth more than what I am being paid as a volunteer to my country.

This job is tough, for several reasons and I’m having a hard time adapting to Dubuque as well.

First, the program I am working on is really cool. We have some great partners and are doing some great work here. The more I look into what is going on here, the more questions I have.

I know how to get the answers, but I am not allowed or don’t have some of the resources to do the job.

For example, there is currently a job website that Iowa Works and the Chamber of Commerce work together to run. It is pretty comprehensive and there are job shortages in some areas, so the community college looks at it and trains folks to get the jobs that are needed. But they have no idea if is it working. It would be easy to find out if it was working and what the barriers still were to folks using the site. We could get a hold of the folks who are registered with the site. All we need to do is call a statistically significantly number of them and find out more information. We could also go the employers (or phone call them) and see if it is working for them. We also want to see the difference between the folks the hire and the folks they don’t so we can tailor programming to people coming from poverty to be more prepared for the workforce. I would just interview both parties. We already have their contact information. But while this would be incredibly valuable to all the partners in the program, and I totally could make 10k phone calls to the folks and very or little cost, it isn’t really in my VAD and it would distract from the other programs. I would have to have access to the partner’s database and/or have a contact list of employers,currently held by a partner. They don't agree with me of how easy it would be.

Secondly, I’m very annoyed how the AmeriCorps program is being used here. I saw some of it at PSO, but here in Dubuque, it is also very clear.

One of the barriers to folks ever getting ahead is finding a living wage job. They are available here in Dubuque. They are even available at the skills level people here already have. The problem is that people don’t know their own value. Lets put it this way, Americorps does a good thing by often hiring folks who may have been in a program they helped with. This seems like a good thing, but it is also mis-used. The pay for the job is not paying people what they are worth. Internal hiring continues the “I’m lucky with what I get” mentality instead of teaching people in the program they are worth more. I’ve met 4 people in Dubuque and several at PSO who were former participants in the programs that VISTA serves. They are willing to take poverty wages because it is their first opportunity to do something different, not always their best opportunity. For many of the people I met, they are worth more than whatever our minimum wages turn out to be per hour. Instead of creating the system change to make more jobs for folks, it is internal hiring. You can’t expect someone who knows nothing different to make something different. Internal hiring/promotion can be good sometimes, but it is also potentially eating the seed corn. AmeriCorps and the VISTA program won’t succeed if they feed off of the clients. Everyone needs a chance, but we should be blazing trails, not pulling a train.

Enough with my rantings.