A great presidential Commercial - Classic

 Last night I had this dream for a presidential commercial. This was the narration. "Things aren’t how they used to be. Here is a picture in black and white that proves it. Today there are many pressing issues for the next president; here is a picture of a steaming teapot to represent pressure. Kids today aren’t thinking about the future. Here is a picture of a kid who is playing while wearing a towel on his head. He isn’t pretending to be a bad guy; he is just playing. This is the new world. People today still try to propel things in weird ways. Here are pictures of people using spoons to launch cotton balls. This election is going to be important. Here is a picture of a string of pearls swaying with clock sounds to convey the urgency. Make sure you vote for someone who doesn't think hats make people evil."

Drag queens can swim!

Last night I dreamt that I went to a gay bar with an indoor pool where it was encouraged for the drag queens to swim with their wigs on. How those wigs stayed on while swimming was the magic of dreams. And the makeup never looked wet. I want to go to this place.

Ted Cruz got a lecture for Christmas

 Uh, I had a dream I was Ted Cruz's secret Santa for Christmas. Instead if a gift I gave him a lecture about poverty+healthcare and a lump of coal. I really don't understand my dreams. I also was walking barefoot all over Pocatello looking to rent VHSs.