Friday, September 9, 2022

Queens of Maine? Starring Rita Hayworth.

 In my dream last night, the main character was a young Rita Hayworth. It took place in the summer of 1914. Rita had that old-timey film noir voice, but was a very young 18 years old. She was an heiress whose mother had died when she was young, but before her mother died, her mother had gone to a psychic for a reading. Her mother wrote the results of the reading and wished her daughter a happy life and predicted that she would be proposed to by the love of her life on her 19th birthday. She cherished this note and reviewed it fondly. Subsequently, she also grew into a bit of a romantic. She had a bright spirit that lit up rooms and a playful attitude towards all things. It didn't hurt that she was going to inherit enough money she would never need to work. She had been raised by a nanny, but when she reached 16, a nanny wasn't needed anymore, so she got a maidservant, which today we may call a personal assistant. The assistant was two years older than her, but they got along like best friends, even though there was a constant power dynamic between the two, since Rita was the employer. 

By watching the two, you could tell they were besties, and that the assistant (I don't know if she had a name, so let's call her Max, because she was played by Chanté Adams), was totally in love with her and probably queer. Rita returned all the love but although questioning her sexuality and attraction to Max, thought that her mother's prophecy was the major leader of her life and she just had to wait it out. 

There was this scene where Rita learned to drive a car, and Max was in the passenger seat scared out of her mind. Women weren't really allowed to drive, but between Rita's wealth and privilege, she had a car and learned how to drive, mostly by trial and error from driving around the estate. By the end of their car ride, they were both laughing and enjoying the freedom not often allowed to women of the time.

Cut to a few weeks before Rita's 19th birthday. She (and Max) were visiting another wealthy family who had a son Rita's age. They got along great because she was so friendly and fun, and he was a major BRO who loved that about her. She fit in great with his bro-friends who were also constantly hanging out with him. He was 18, and was a very very juvenile and immature Cary Grant. Like he looked lanky and played a bit flamboyant. Cary had a mother, father, and younger sister who all adored Rita, probably more than Cary did. It was almost inevitable that the two would marry, and while Rita didn't anticipate it, she also knew the prophecy may meant they would fall in "love" later when they both matured. Cary's friends were just so immature, they annoyed Rita, so she would often escape with Max to an overlook on the porch that could watch the ocean. 

As the summer turned to fall, early morning fogs began encasing the whole estate and coastline. Rita took the morning moments to walk down through a garden path to the  rocky beach. One morning on the path she met a man her age who had parked his car at the top of the path and was carrying a beach chair and towel. The boy looked like a young Anthony Perkins but unlike his Psycho personae, he had the charm and charisma of a young Jimmy Stewart. Anyway, the two got to talking about cars, and found out they had a ton in common. For months they would escape to the beach, alone together.  Rita began to doubt that Cary was the person who would be her love of a lifetime and began imagining a life with Anthony. 

This was much to the chagrin of Max, who slowly became more and more frustrated that her love was not the priority anymore. She still had her best friend, but her best friend's attention was focused on a man she just met. She was visibly upset at times, but remained a faithful companion and assistant, caring for Rita, and even learning to drive so she would have the freedom if Rita ever decided Max wasn't needed any longer.

It was the night before Rita's 19th birthday. She still wasn't sure if it was going to be Cary or Anthony who would commit their undying love. She was hanging out with Care's mother, looking at old wedding photos and getting asked questions like "what do you think of this wedding dress? I think I'd look great on you." She was so overcome with attention she ran off through the house looking for a place of quiet she could escape and ended up in an alcove under the stairs. She could see people running past her looking for her, and as they went away she felt so much relief. Then suddenly, Gary's father poked his head around the corner, saw her and laughed! 

"You sure like to play games!" he exclaimed as he helped her out of the alcove. 

She went back to the room, settled into a chair and pulled out her mother's letter to her.

"Your love of a lifetime may not be who you expect." She sighed as she thought about Anthony, but didn't feel any particular stirrings except ongoing curiosity about this rich friend she had just met.

Out of the silence there was a knock at the door. The whole family moved about the house and sounds of footsteps running to the door were echoing through the house. 

"Who could it be at this hour?!" Gary's mother exclaimed.

Gary's father opened the door and a neighbor was standing on the porch holding a newspaper. He held it up and showed them the headline "War in Europe."

Gary's father gasped. Gary peeked out behind his father and looked at the headline. He laughed with a sense of privilege that seemed out of place for such a huge announcement.

"It finally happened." said the neighbor.

The family settled back in the parlor, but between the chatter about war and the economics these rich men were going to have to prepare for with such a big announcement.

Rita was physically trying to escape to her happy place on the beach, but as she walked out on the porch she was followed by Gary. 

"You know what this means," he whispered. Rita held her breath. What this it?

"It means we'll have to get married right away so my friends can attend the wedding before they get too busy with War preparation."

Rita groaned. Nineteen years of waiting and "we have to get married" was not the proposal she imagined a million times. 

"My father will make sure it happens" Gary continued. 

"We're getting married" Rita exasperated.

Unbenounced to Rita, Anthony has also heard the news and came rushing to the house. He had happened upon the two for the very end of the conversation, just in time to hear the "We're getting married."

Although she couldn't see it, she felt Anthony's face fall. Anthony, who had been coming to proclaim his love in the light of an international calamity, had heard the news and knew that only love would save the world. 

Gary left Rita without so much as a touch and returned to the house to get the approval of his parents and sister.

Rita was left, speechless, on the porch, feeling fog slowly creep up the porch and the July humidity enter her lungs. She took a deep breath and put her hand in her pocket to once again finger the letter from her mother, still in her pocket.

Anthony heard the door close and used the moment of silence to announce his presence by stepping further up the gravel pathway toward the porch. Rita turned her head towards the sound trying to tell if she had imagined the sound. by the second step, and the creak of the board at the bottom of the short flight of stairs, she knew someone else was coming into her space. She could almost feel the increased heat of another body sharing the humidity and scaring away the crickets that sang in the night.

"Rita?" Anthony almost whispered into the gathering fog.

"Anthony?!" Rita sang back, excited for a moment that someone other than Gary had joined her. "Is that you?" She walked around the corner and saw Anthony coming up the steps. He looked disheveled a bit, and had his hand in his pocket. 

Anthony felt the small ring in his pocket again. He slipped his finger in and out of it, poking it like a snake's tongue, in and out. He had seen the papers too, and rushed to Rita's side. He knew the political implications of the war and was afraid of the future. He studied military strategy and politics in college before focusing on mechanical engineering. This wasn't going to be a war like wars of the past. The technology and murder machines had grown in scale. He had learned their inner workings and felt dread knowing that the ideas he had studied were now going to cost real human lives. He needed comfort, and for that he had come to Rita.

"Can we get out of here?" He asked. 

"We have to." Rita responded quickly and then jumped off the porch in the direction of the garden path that lead to the ocean below. They sank into the darkness as they march through the garden path. They moved quickly, trying to leave the porch behind and make it to their sanctuary. Thorny bushes and rosehips surrounded them. When they got to the beach, they made their way to the boulders that marked the high tide. The tide was coming in and it's roar was loud and calming. They couldn't stay long and risk being stranded on the rock and having it's push them against the rocks as they left, so they both settled quickly.

"I need to tell you something important." Gary breathed, sucking in air as he talked.

Rita could tell it was serious.

"I don't know what is going to happen. You are like no one I've ever met before. You are kind, smart, and so full of life. I never imagined how wonderful spending time with another person could be. Life is so valuable, we have to spend it in the most valuable ways we can," he continued.

Rita held her breath. Was he going to swear that she could always rely upon him in a storm? That he had to confess his love because it was her birthday?

"I have to go," he stated. He stopped there, not knowing how to escape both the moment and the conversation.

He didn't know what exactly he was going to express on that beach. He was heartbroken that the girl he had enjoyed the summer with was now "going to get married" to the boy next door, one she didn't talk about much. He knew that this war was going to be like nothing before. He knew he couldn't spend time with Rita on that beach again without a pain greater than that of any war injury.

"I'm enlisting immediately" he finished.

Rita was in shock. Sure, they had shared political views, and even talked about how peace should be the goal in all matters. She thought maybe he was more of a pacifist, or maybe a communist, but she had not prepared herself for this.

"I understand," she slowly responded.

"The summer is nearly over, and I'm needed somewhere." He intentionally left of "else" from "somewhere else" still trying to find his way out of the tangles. "I hope we can be friends," he finished. 

Rita fell silent. What was she supposed to say? Nothing in books prepared her for the let-down of the moment. Not only was he not confessing his love, her newest friend was rushing off to join a war he didn't believe in. 

"I think we are friends." She said, still confused as to what the polite response was, and trying to name the feelings happening quickly in her brain. 

They sat in silence for a few more minutes, listening to the waves get closer and the salt spray slowly creating a layer as it stuck to their skin, already glistening with moisture from the warm fog.

"We can't stay like this." Rita finally said aloud, after thinking it in her head several times.

Anthony shuffled his body a bit and climbed down from the rocks. He offered her a hand. As she took it, she noticed how warm it was, warmer than it should be from just the July summer heat.

They walked slowly and silently back up the hill, with the crushing of rocks beneath their feet sounding muffled. When they got back to the porch, Anthony turned towards her. He was flushed from both the fear from the conversation, and that he had just committed to joining the war, out loud. While he had known it was probably inevitable, he had chosen it in his moment of weakness. Anger at himself, and in many ways at Gary, filled his body.

"Happy birthday, friend." Anthony looked at her and turned away, almost too quickly. 

"Good luck. Friend." Rita spit. She wasn't mad at anthony, but she was disappointed that the night had not gone like she wanted. Where was the romance she was promised? She was just disappointed and hurt. 

Fast forward to 2 years later. Not only did Anthony enlist, but he was made an officer. Gary was so concerned with his Bros being conscripted, or volunteering, he didn't have time to marry Rita, and she had not pushed the issue. Over the 2 years, all of Gary's friends had joined up with the effort, and he was the only one left. His privilege has protected him but he knew his number was up. If he didn't volunteer, people would start asking questions of him. Plus, he was excited to join his brothers in this adult game they called war. 

Max and Rita continued their adventures, but Max had changed. She had heard about Rita's engagement. Rita noticed Max hadn't been the same in some time. Max seems further away, both physically and mentally. They had always been so intimate, but sometimes Rita felt Max was being repulsed by her. She still had a best friend and companion, but there was a missing component.

Rita was going through her summer clothing items in preparation to return to the home on the Maine coastline. She as fiddling with items, she reached into the pocket of the sweater she has been wearing the day of her birthday, 2 years earlier. The bright white color just hadn't appealed to her since the start of the war, and with it's association with marriage.

She pulled out an envelope that looked like a card. She asked herself if it could be an early congratulations announcement. Her name was printed delicately across the front.

She opened the card and pulled out a quad-folded piece of paper. It was a letter from Max. It was a love letter talking about how Max was deeply in love with Rita and had been since they were in their teens. It took Rita a moment, but she then realized how Max has always been the one who she loved. 

Rita wasn't sure what to do about Gary, but he ended up dying in the war. And she didn't hear from Anthony again, but she thinks she might know why.

She and Max went on to be notorious and drive across the country. 



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