Too Many Spocks, Not Enough Scotties (In Economic Development)

I was asking myself why people incorporate. Many non-profits seems to think if they are a corporation (although there are many types of corporations) that they get something out of it. This makes me wonder, why would you want to constitute yourself like a monster, assuming that is purely logical. Perfectly logical would be Spock.

Iowa is currently looking at reconstituting its economic development department into a more corporate model. I sympathize with this idea, at the same time as really abhorring it. I don't think the problem is that the department is missing the Spock piece, but rather missing more of the dynamics of the Star Trek team. You do need a charismatic leader who is willing to take risks. We learned this from Captain Kirk. We need an influential "logical" being like Spock to be represented, but we all know, we like Spock best when he leaned toward the side of emotion. It is especially why everyone loved Data in TNG. We also need a Dr. McCoy to often remind people of their high moral obligations. Once in awhile, it is also their job to declare "I'm a doctor! Not a _______" to remind people that they are limited to their role.  There is a need for the engineer, the helmsman, the tactical engineer, and a navigator. The team also needs red-shirts. I know that sounds sad, but on a good team the red shirts are the constantly rotating individuals with particular pieces to play, but not part of the core team for the long haul.

I think if more business partnerships were organized around this model, we wouldn't have monsters running the economy and we would all be a little better off. What we don't need is more Spocks.

Stupid Iowa

Seriously, this place is not growing on me. I've had some amazing and worthwhile experiences while here, its true, but even with them, I just don't like this place. As an anthropologist, I try to tell myself "this is just part of the process." Malinowski hated his trip to the Trobrian Islands. Even Darwin disliked the indigenous folks he ran into when traveling on the HMS Beagle. And I don't like Iowa.

Now, to be fair, Iowa is just a place. It is made of dirt and rock and water. Basso, in "Wisdom Sits in Places" he say "sensing places, men and women become sharply aware of the complex attachments that link them to the features of the physical world." I have been in Dubuque for only the winter. I haven't even seen the ground because it's been covered with 41" of snow (this is the total for the year, 21" above normal). From a social level, I've made friends. I've found things to do that keep my mind working. I haven't been especially lonely. But I have been treated inhumanely by the institution of the state.

The ENTIRE time I've been in Iowa I've been fighting to get food assistance. It has wiped out my savings, been a huge waste of mascara because every time I have to deal with the state, it costs me tears, and between and hour and an hour-and-a-half to regain my composure at work. Its cut into my sleep struggling to make sense of something that is not at all intuitive. Why is it so hard to get a little help?

For example, when I went to apply for food assistance back in November they asked about my "rent" so I put down what I thought it was going to be. I had not even paid it once yet because I'd been in town 2 weeks, and while I knew we'd split the utilities, I wasn't sure on how much they cost. This time they asked me about the house v. utilities. I don't calculate my rent this way. I just know it is normally between $219 and $300. But asking me about things I don't know, and don't have anyway of really knowing  for sure makes me feel like I am lying, then they think I am lying, but I'm not. They have to know something to help me that I don't even know exists. I have never been told how much the house costs. This makes it very upsetting. It was being forced to lie.

Another example is how there is no flow chart to know what to do in this process. It is a main reason I had to appeal the decision last time. I couldn't provide the information they wanted in the time they gave me, but there is nowhere written, in the application or any of the other communication, an explanation of their time line they are using. They have information I don't have and are using it against me. What information is given is how to appeal a decision. I didn't know I had any other options. All I really want is some help, and I need some food.

They continue to have information I don't have access to, and can use it against me. For example, when I was "in court" on the phone for my appeal. DHS had two representatives and I had just myself. I didn't even know why I would have needed someone in my defense. They knew what to expect because they had done it before. They had "the code" of their behavior and could even site it. I wouldn't even know where to find the Iowa code for social service agencies. It was unfair.

Then, today, when I talked to my new case worker, I explained the situation to her, so we could work together and ask the right questions. I explained to her that I had been denied in January, and when I was "in court" the judge said the quickest way to resolve the problem was to re-apply, even though a decision hadn't been made about the case.  I didn't want her to do something and get in trouble for it. She asked who the other caseworker was so I told her. When she called me back she said she had talked to the other caseworker and gotten "her notes." I know it is paranoid, but this means they had time to gossip. I don't know at all what the other caseworkers deal was, but she was not clear or helpful last time. Again, their were two of them and just one of me. They see each other every day, and I've never met either of them. It is very easy for them to gang up on me, and I wouldn't even know about it until something came up down the road. I'm not saying they will, but I have no other explanation of why the woman went from being nice when I first called her back, to sounding so frustrated with me.

And getting upset about it doesn't help, but telling myself not to get upset makes me more upset. Why shouldn't I be upset. I'm being interrogated like a criminal because I asked for help. But I can't help it, I need something they are withholding. Then, when I do get upset, I can't hear and remember things as well as if I'm calm. It isn't just me being stupid. "Several studies have  demonstrated that emotion can influence attention by both capturing attention and altering the ease with which emotional stimuli are processed when attention is limited [5,6]."  I could deal with it better if I had more information, like a flow chart of what to expect, and what my responsibilities are.

I could also use help if I don't have the answer to a question so they didn't think I was lying. What if "no" or "you figure it out" it was intentional to help brainstorm solutions, or at least let me, the client, explain the situation to the extent I feel is necessary, and then we can interpret the story together.

One last note, I asked about other available resources. I was upset so I couldn't communicate well, but I wanted to know if they had any information on nutrition to go with the food card. I am worried about nutrition, and I'm worried I won't get enough assistance to cover all of my food expenses.  I was wondering if there was information on how to budget up the assistance for nutrition. But I didn't know how to ask this very well. I asked if there was some information on "budgeting" which is not really what I mean at all. But she said there wasn't information in the office like that and sent me to the website. While the website doesn't have this information, I was glad she didn't just say "no." I think it is odd that there are so many groups out there teaching about food production to help people in poverty, but their isn't even a flier on nutrition at DHS where state food assistance comes from. It is a strange gap between food and nutrition. WIC focuses on nutrition, but general relief does not. It is like someone gave up on the adults and is just focused on the kids.

So, this is the state. There is a reason I don't like it, and don't feel secure here. I see so much injustice. It hurts even more when the injustice happens to me and I, being a capable and reasonably smart adult can't do anything about it. I know my job here is structural change, but just dealing with the structure is so frustrating and draining, how can I get around to doing the work? Its just taken me an hour and a half to organize my thoughts and calm down. And hundreds, if not thousands, of people in town have a similar experience each day instead of working. This is an economic issue, not just an issue of kindness and justice.

New Job, New State

Well, I've started settling in here in Iowa. I had a great friend help me move in and it didn't take long, or was too hard. I spent 2 days in Calmar, Iowa with my friend Kayla (the friend who helped me move) to learn some stuff about Iowa. My anthropology nose was sniffing some stuff out, so I wanted to remark on it before I talk about my new home.

So, beer koozies are a big deal here. It is pronounced Koo-zy, not cozy, like I have always called them. They are those beer holders that keep your can or bottle cooland are soft. People here get them for all sorts of events, especially weddings. They will have their name and the date of the event screen printed on to the devices. It helps to know whose beer is whose, like those wine glass charms keep people from drinking your wine. They may keep your drink cool, but they aren't used because you are sipping on one beer all night; people here drink a lot. There is an alcohol culture that is at work.

A second thing I learned about NE Iowa is about a thing called "touring". Touring is basically drunk driving down unpaved roads. It is considered fun because people here also are allowed to "have one for the road" or literally served a beer on their way out the door. The only reason this is allowed to happen is because there are so few police and sheriffs around. You are unlikely to get pulled over on the unpaved roads, and people will just take them and get lost. Usually a car full of people, not just individuals. We didn't go touring, but it is so common it has that term associated with it.

Thats mostly what I learned in NE Iowa. So, now onto my place in Dubuque.
I think I really scored with this room I am renting. It is right on the bluff. From the front room, you can see both Wisconsin, Illinois, and downtown Dubuque. We sit right on the bluff. We are at the very edge of the bluff and while our street address is 3rd st., because of the hill, you can't get to the house from 3rd st. You have to go down an ally behind the houses.

The house was built in 1906 and has been cared for. It isn't as nice as many of the restored victorian homes on the bluff, but it has been cared for and is quite nice. My roommates are Kandy-the house marm. She is the one the lease is with, but she rents out the rooms. She runs the house and I like that she is direct. I need her to keep harping on me to keep the lights off, but I like her and she is clean and wants to keep things nice. Her boyfriend is, well, i forgot his name already, but I think it is Matt. Then, just today, I met Jeremy, the other guy who lives in Wisconsin, but rents a room during the week so he can work at a factory in Dubuque. I met him only briefly, but we talked about deer hunting. In Iowa, the season starts this week.

The house may be haunted. When I have more evidence of this, I will make this argument, but for now, it *may* be haunted.

The landlord lives next door. Paul and his wife used to live in this house, but they restored a house next door. Paul was a 4th grade teacher and his wife was a nurse. They are both retired now. I really hope they are democrats but I'm not sure. Mostly because they had a picture of Sara Palin on their fridge, and I'm not sure if it was humorous, or they actually like her. We already talked about having a street Christmas party in December because the couple also owns the house on the other side of them, and a new tenant just moved in. The woman is a teacher herself now, and was in one of "Mr. K."'s grade school classes.

I live in the "quite" room. It is the quietest of the rooms and I have plenty of closet space! I have been sleeping on a inflatable mattress, but I will get a better one next week when Kandy gets a new bed and I get her old one.

So, that is my new house. I will post pictures from the deck of the view later.

I went to the UU Fellowship on Sunday. I met some nice people there and can't wait to get more involved. I might even sing in the choir, not because I am good, but because I am so bad I hope to improve. They knew the woman I will be working for. They spoke highly of her. I hear she is the mayor's wife and a very kind woman. I look forward to meeting her so she can suggest more books for me to read.

So, I also started my new job today. I am at the orientation now. I came through the Land of Lincoln. I'm not officially in Chicago, but I plan on going to get some pizza on Thursday night, before going back to Iowa. I'll probably do some site seeing too.

Before I left Dubuque, this morning, I stopped by my new office. It was fancy. The office is in a restored old building in downtown Dubuque. The office is new and classy. It takes a fancy electronic key to get through the doors, when it isn't open. I get an office (no window of course) and I got a name tag. People were really nice in and around the building. I talked to the maintenance workers who were still doing some work no the place. They were also setting up for Christmas, and the place will be spectacular this weekend in time for the Festival of Trees. People there were wearing suits. It kind creeped me out. Not because it was bad, but because it was so fancy. When I think VISTA, I think of dirty work like building stuff and walking the streets. Maybe it was just Monday, but ooh-la-la, people were classy. The first quote I need to put up in my office is one to remind me that the real work I want to do, can't be done in an office. There will certainly be important office work, phone calls, e-mails, and meetings, but I look forward to having an out-of-office experience.

I love anthropology and plan on using it in the job. Anthropology is a field science.

So, this is it so far. I have to say, it is sure nice to be surrounded by people who love volunteering, service, and who are so committed to solving poverty. Not as many extroverts as I would have expected, but a lot of the capacity building of VISTA jobs are thinking and writing, so that may be some of the reason for it. Also, the line was so long at registration that it sucked a lot of the energy of folks.

On that, I will mention something I felt good about. So, the lines really did take like an hour to get through. I had made it through the first line, and heard rumors there were cookies at the end of the line. I had some very nice people from Michigan, who held my spot while I went to explore. I was just going to get cookies and water for the people I was talking to, but when I got to the cookies, and thought of all the other hungry folks in line, I just grabbed the whole tray of them and took them down the lines of the people I know had been waiting so long. I had to make 2 trips because it was so popular, especially by folks who had been traveling and were hungry. I'm glad I did that because I think it made people a little more calm about the line, and there were some legitimately hungry people. We were all waiting in a line, not even sure if it was the right line, and of what would happen when we got to the front of it. I hoped it help people feel like they were in a good place and someone was concerned about them. But enough of me patting my own back.

G'nite.